


Calling Out

by IHeartSnuffles



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Implied Dysphoria, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Trans Female Character, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 19:50:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9563819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IHeartSnuffles/pseuds/IHeartSnuffles
Summary: You reflect on what's just happened, and what has happened before.





	

You wonder if anyone notices.

 

Your hands tug at your sleeves, a claw of anxiety creeping up your throat. Part of you wants to know, wants them to grab you and ask you what’s wrong.

 

The other part of you knows of the shame of being caught.

 

It started years ago, with your coming out. Your family took it so well, it was a bright time in a dark memory. Your mother bought you dresses, your father announced to everyone he knew about his children. His son and his daughter.

 

In those days, the pain was lessened by the support.

 

And then they were gone. Your mother was a constant mess, desperately trying to keep the state of things together after the soldiers came to your door. The TV had alerted you before anything else. You never told her your plans, you doubted you wanted her support to begin with.

 

Support never came easy, you knew something always came to balance it out. Whether it be tragedy or simply a small reminder on your skin in the chill of depression.

 

Despite this, you felt a quiet fire of fury burn. You knew something was wrong, that they were hiding things from you.

 

You had no idea that doing something like this would result in you gaining a brand new family. Friendships that span millions of billions of miles, you doubt that miles could accurately describe the distance across the cosmos.

 

Your friends call you by your name, not your old name. They always knew you as such during your deception, and you never gave them a reason to change it. Well, at least never your name.

 

He only called you that once and it was confirmation. That your past _was_ real, that those lighter times did exist before Zarkon. Before everything went arse-up and you were left scrambling. He knew you, didn’t reveal anything until you were ready. You wished your words could someday articulate this gratitude.

 

Any darker thoughts were shelved for the heat of the moment, the drive and the power you felt when you became a Paladin. The thoughts never truly left however, storing themselves in the recesses of your mind for another time. They would haunt you before sleep, while you waited for information on your family. That there was some hope your efforts were not in vain.

 

With another coming out and a big battle came another wave of anxiety. Another wave of cold that seeped into your bones. Set your mind into a stasis. Shut down your coping abilities that had kept you sane for so long in this adventure.

 

You relapsed. No one has noticed. The healing chamber would fix it in the blink of an eye, but you needed this. Needed the sting on your skin to feel. Feel something other than existential dread, something besides the dampened cold that emanates from your core.

 

And as you head towards the bridge of the ship, your friends surrounding you, you hope to god someone notices. Despite every molecule, every part of you screaming to silence yourself and ignore them all, you let go of your sleeves. It’s almost suffocating you, this weight that suddenly amasses in your throat as their eyes meet yours.

 

You’re tired of feeling helpless.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to hit me up @iheartpkmn on tumblr for fic requests/etc.


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